May 22, 2013

I'll take a large Courage and a side of Strength. Hey, does that come with Peace?

 

 The last couple days have been about preoperative visits with my surgeons.  Everything is a go for my prophylactic bilateral mastectomy Monday, June 3rd 7:30 a.m.  I came away from both appointments feeling positive and peaceful. I've done my research, I've chosen the best doctors, and I have the most supportive family and friends.  I know I'm in good hands.

So, why am I freaking out on the inside?

 

Okay, I'm gonna to say it.

 

I.AM.SCARED.

 

I don't wanna be. I haven't allowed myself to be. I wish I wasn't.

 

scared.

 

 It is not reversible. They are amputating a part of my body. It's not like I have big boobs. They aren't even pretty. But, they are MINE. They're part of me. What will I see when I look in the mirror? What will it be like not having sensation? I have about a hundred more questions running through my mind (mostly in the middle of the night).

 

I haven't let myself go there because I don't have a choice. They are ticking time bombs. I heard a great analogy recently "if you were about to get on an airplane and they told you it had an 87-90% chance of crashing- would you still board the plane?"

 

 

Its confusing to feel confident and scared at the same time.

 

In writing this blog I've become an open book. I'm sharing my thoughts and feelings and sometimes they aren't pretty. 

Don't feel sorry for me-

if anything, send positive thoughts and prayers

(and maybe some reeses).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Tuesday, May 14th.

 

 

HAS ANYONE NOT HEARD THE NEWS???????

"My Medical Choice" by Angelina Jolie was released today.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/14/opinion/my-medical-choice.html?_r=1

 

She is BRCA1 positive and recently had a prophylactic double mastectomy.
  Now comes all the misinformation and opinions from people who have not done their research and have no idea what they are talking about.  I belong to a few groups on Facebook- all women who are BRCA positive.  We get advice, give encouragement, and share our stories with one another. ALL POSITIVE.
 I didn't realize until today,while browsing outside my groups, that there were people who thought having my breasts cut off and being in menopause at age 42 was somehow related to "wealth or vanity".  Really? I actually read that on a feed today. It was directed at Angelina but I felt offended. I wrote a response "have you seen her breasts? do you have any idea what a mastectomy involves? her beautiful tomb raider breasts will never be the same and she may never have feeling in them again?  Vanity??? Seriously???"

Wealth was also talked about.  The dumb dumb obviously didn't know that if you fall within the guidelines insurance will pay for the testing as well as the surgery.  If you don't have insurance there are doctors and non profit organizations that will make sure you get the testing and treatment you need.
 

I've felt nothing but love and support from my family and friends so the rant above is not aimed at you! Just needed to get it off my chest (heehee)
 

I thought I would provide some additional information on BRCA:

 

Having a BRCA gene mutation is uncommon. These mutations are present in far less than 1 percent of the general population.  Inherited BRCA gene mutations are responsible for about 5 percent of breast cancers and about 10 to 15 percent of ovarian cancers. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/brca-gene-test/MY00322

 Harmful BRCA1 mutations may also increase a woman’s risk of developing cervical, uterine, pancreatic, and colon cancer. Harmful BRCA2 mutations may additionally increase the risk of pancreatic cancer, stomach cancer, gallbladder and bile duct cancer, and melanoma.

http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/BRCA

 



Who should consider testing?

Genetic testing is only recommended for certain people, including those with:

• A personal history of breast cancer at age 50 or younger
• A personal history of triple negative breast cancer (breast cancer that is estrogen receptor-negative, progesterone receptor-negative and HER2/neu receptor-negative)
• A personal or family history of male breast cancer
• A personal or family history of bilateral breast cancer (cancer in both breasts)
• A personal history of ovarian cancer
• A parent, sibling, child, grandparent, grandchild, uncle, aunt, nephew, niece or first cousin diagnosed with breast cancer at age 45 or younger
• A parent, sibling, child, grandparent, grandchild, uncle, aunt, nephew, niece or first cousin diagnosed with ovarian cancer
• A family history of both breast and ovarian cancers on the same side of the family (either mother's or father's side of the family)
• Ashkenazi Jewish heritage and a family history of breast or ovarian cancer

There is only a very small chance that your family carries a BRCA mutation if:

• You or an immediate family member is the only person in your family with breast cancer
• The breast cancers in your family all occurred at older ages.
• http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/BRCA

 

I would like to say that scheduling the prophylactic surgeries was a difficult choice. But, it was a no brainer.

87-90% chance of breast cancer VS less than 5%.

 

If you have any questions regarding BRCA or my story please email me (jstella6635@charter.net) or message me on FB. I would be happy to answer your questions or chat!

 

My prophylactic double mastectomy is scheduled on June 3rd.