April 22, 2013

 the journey becomes real for me tomorrow.

 my first surgery-

 laparoscopic assisted vaginal hysterectomy w/bilateral salpingo oophorectomy.

big words for: removing everything.

I'm feeling very emotional.

 

I wish I had more to write but, I'm out of words. lets do this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

April 1, 2013

 

 

I'm sad today.  My mom is having a bad reaction to her chemo (rash on her entire body and thrush in her mouth) and there is nothing I can do to help.  I feel the miles between us. 

My sister, M, is having her hysterectomy and oophorectomy tomorrow. She is coming to terms with the seriousness of the brca2 diagnosis.  It's not easy because we really don't have any choice-the surgeries must be done.  The statistics are too high.  One doctor said "it's not if you're going to get cancer but when."  My emotions are all over the place. I'm happy because I can be proactive. I'm scared because I've never been in the hospital except giving birth, I'm annoyed because this is disrupting my life, I'm overwhelmed by the support people have shown, and I'm thankful for my amazing husband.

 

I wanted to write a little bit about my sister.  For as long as I can remember I've wanted to be with her. When I was young, I'd sit outside her bedroom waiting for her to make time for me.  I wanted to borrow her clothes and style my hair just like hers. She was confident. She was a brilliant. She was strong. She was beautiful. She was my big sister.

Years and a few wrinkles later, she is still all those things. But, now

she is also

my best friend. 

 

Please pray for M tomorrow. Her surgery is scheduled for 11:15. 

 



I'm brca2 positive. What now?

I LIKE TO KICK!  I always figured I'd be at least 50 like Sally O'Malley (Molly Shannon from SNL) not 42 when I went through menopause.

 

I'm brca2 positive. What now?

 

The first recommendation for brca2 is a prophylactic oophorectomy to reduce the risk of breast and ovarian cancer.This will take away the body's main source of estrogen. Ovarian cancer is hard to detect and is often too advanced by the time it is found. The doctor explained that she will remove the ovaries, uterus, fallopian tubes, cervix, and anything else hiding out. She will then do a pelvic wash.  Everything will be sent to the lab for testing. M and I both have cysts which didn't seem worrisome until now.  M has surgery scheduled for April 2 and I will have mine April 23.  The surgery will put us into menopause immediately.  However, we will not be able to take any hormone replacements because estrogen is our enemy. I am trying to be positive but the thought of hot flashes, irritability, depression, vaginal dryness, and other side effects freaks me out. I know it's better than getting ovarian cancer but it's still scary. 

There are a few recommendations to reduce the risk of breast cancer. The first is monitoring- frequent MRI's, mammograms, ultrasounds, and clinical exams. The second is a prophylactic double mastectomy. This is a very personal decision. My husband and I feel I should have the prophylactic mastectomy. After the mastectomy, my chance of developing breast cancer drops by 90%. Those statistics are amazing but there are sacrifices. I will lose both breasts as well as my nipples and I won't have any sensation even after reconstruction. I will be seeing the breast surgeon and plastic surgeon after I recover from the oophorectomy.

I'm tired today.  I told one friend "sharing the news is a bit scary because...it just got real." I'm feeling weepy (maybe it's hormones since I'm due to get the last period of my entire life!) or maybe I'm mourning the loss of my "body parts" already.  

Next step for me- MRI scheduled April 5th.